Why Play Matters More Than You Think

This article explores why play is so important for language development, the communication skills that grow through different types of play, why speech and language therapy often looks like play, and how parents can support language without adding pressure.

Many parents tell me they don’t know how to play — or worry that they’re not doing it “right”.

That’s a very real and understandable concern. Many adults weren’t shown how to play in a way that supports communication, and play can feel awkward, unfamiliar, or even uncomfortable as an adult.

The reassuring truth is this: play doesn’t need to be imaginative, clever, or educational to support language.

If you’re not sure how to play, start by watching what your child is doing, then join in by doing the same thing, even if it feels simple or repetitive. That is often more than enough.

Play Is One of the Most Powerful Ways Language Develops

If you’ve ever found yourself wondering whether your child should be doing more “learning” and less playing, you’re not alone.

For young children, play is one of the most powerful and natural ways speech, language, and communication develop.

Children do not learn language best through drills, worksheets, or flashcards. Research consistently shows that language develops most effectively through meaningful, shared interactions with responsive adults.

Play provides exactly this environment.

When children play, they are naturally:

         •       listening and watching

         •       taking turns

         •       hearing and learning new words

         •       practising sounds, words, and sentences

         •       using communication for a real purpose

         •       making sense of the world around them

Play creates a genuine reason to communicate. Children aren’t talking because they’re asked to talk, they’re communicating because it keeps the play going.

What Language Skills Grow Through Play?

Different types of play support different aspects of communication. There is no “right” type of play, the most valuable play is the play your child enjoys.

Pretend play (shops, doctors, superheroes) supports:

         •       vocabulary development

         •       sentence structure

         •       storytelling and narrative skills

For example, a child pretending to “make dinner” might practise words like hot, mix, eat, or short sentences like “daddy’s dinner”.

Turn-taking games (rolling a ball, simple board games) support:

         •       listening

         •       attention

         •       social communication

This might look like rolling a ball back and forth and saying “my turn”, “your turn”, or simply smiling and waiting.

Physical play (running, climbing, rough-and-tumble play) supports:

         •       shared attention

         •       early words and sounds

         •       emotional regulation

Children often vocalise more during movement — words like go, stop, again, up often emerge naturally here.

Construction play (blocks, Lego, puzzles) supports:

         •       problem-solving language

         •       following instructions

         •       descriptive and spatial vocabulary

You might hear language like big one, on top, stuck, it fell.

Book play (talking about pictures rather than reading every word) supports:

         •       understanding

         •       prediction

         •       commenting and conversation

For example: “Uh oh, he fell”, “Where’s the dog?”, “He looks sad”.

All of these experiences support language in different but equally important ways.

Why Speech and Language Therapy Often Looks Like Play

Parents are sometimes surprised when speech and language therapy sessions look like play rather than “work”. This is intentional and evidence-based.

Speech and language therapists use play because:

         •       children are more engaged when activities are meaningful

         •       motivation supports learning and memory

         •       language is easier to process in relaxed, enjoyable contexts

         •       play allows therapists to follow a child’s interests and strengths

Research shows that children learn language most effectively when adults respond to the child’s focus of attention rather than directing or controlling the interaction. Play naturally supports this responsiveness.

Through play, therapists can:

         •       model language at the right level

         •       create natural opportunities for communication

         •       support attention and turn-taking

         •       reduce pressure and anxiety

         •       observe how a child communicates spontaneously

Play-based therapy is not “less structured”. It is developmentally informed, purposeful, and evidence-based.

Your Role: You Don’t Need to Take Over

Many parents worry they need to lead the play or make it educational. In reality, your most helpful role is to join in, not take over.

You can support language by:

         •       getting down to your child’s level

         •       watching what they’re interested in

         •       talking about what they’re doing

         •       commenting rather than questioning

         •       giving them time to respond

For example, instead of asking:

         •       “What’s that?”

         •       “What colour is it?”

         •       “How many are there?”

Try commenting:

         •       “You’re building a tall tower.”

         •       “Uh oh — it fell down!”

         •       “You put the big one on top.”

This reduces pressure and keeps communication relaxed and enjoyable.

Play Builds More Than Words

Play supports far more than spoken language. It also helps children develop:

         •       confidence

         •       emotional understanding

         •       problem-solving skills

         •       relationships

         •       self-regulation

For children who find communication difficult, play offers a safe space where language can grow without fear of getting it “wrong”.

If your child plays differently, prefers repetition, or isn’t using many words yet, that doesn’t mean play isn’t helping. Play looks different for every child — and all forms of play have value.

You don’t need expensive toys, special apps, or perfect interactions. You need time, presence, and connection.

And you’re already doing more than you think.

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If you’re wondering whether your child’s play and communication are developing as expected, you’re welcome to get in touch. A conversation can help clarify what’s typical, what may need support, and whether reassurance is all that’s needed.

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References

Adamson, L.B., Bakeman, R. and Deckner, D.F. (2010) ‘Joint engagement and the emergence of language in children with autism and Down syndrome’, Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders, 40(1), pp. 84–96. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10803-009-0747-1

Bruner, J.S. (1983) Child’s talk: Learning to use language. Oxford: Oxford University Press.

Hirsh-Pasek, K., Zosh, J.M., Golinkoff, R.M. et al. (2020) ‘A new path to education reform: Playful learning promotes 21st century skills in school and beyond’, Human Development, 64(1), pp. 29–52. https://doi.org/10.1159/000503857

Royal College of Speech and Language Therapists (2023) Supporting speech, language and communication through play. London: RCSLT.

Romeo, R.R., Leonard, J.A., Robinson, S.T. et al. (2018) ‘Beyond the 30-million-word gap: Children’s conversational exposure is associated with language-related brain function’, Psychological Science, 29(5), pp. 700–710. https://doi.org/10.1177/0956797617742725

Speech and Language UK (2023) Why play matters for communication. Available at: https://speechandlanguage.org.uk

Tamis-LeMonda, C.S., Kuchirko, Y. and Song, L. (2014) ‘Why is infant language learning facilitated by parental responsiveness?’, Current Directions in Psychological Science, 23(2), pp. 121–126. https://doi.org/10.1177/0963721414522813